Sow Seeds Of Gratitude
Photo by Spencer Davis on Unsplash
Speaking Words Of Gratitude Produces A Harvest Of Joy
by Eric Elkin
The human brain is hardwired for nostalgia. This is a catchphrase we started using in our house ever since my wife listened to a report on the impact of nostalgia on the human brain. The story she heard revealed how the decision to cling to the past is not necessarily ours. Our brains are programmed to pull us back in time. Remembering positive past events and experiences brings comfort, peace, a sense of belonging, and purpose.
Last night, Peggy and I went to pick up some outdoor Christmas decorations at Frattallone's Hardware store on Grand Ave in St. Paul. Three male workers in their 50s were talking about how good it used to be. They were each joyfully sharing memories of the good times when one said, "Every generation thinks things were better when they were young." Then another said, "You mean for the younger people, things will get worse? Oh, Lord, help us." I had to laugh.
Ever since this report came out, I have been leaning into nostalgia. My reminiscing has focused on people, not events. I find myself being grateful for the people I have been able to walk with on this journey in life. The feeling has been even more powerful now that I am old enough to see what has become of those I first knew as children. They help me discover my sense of purpose and identity.
As good as it makes me feel to think of these people, I also find myself paralyzed by the thought of them. The paralysis is my own. Why do I not write or call them to say how much I appreciate our time together? How much I continue to find meaning in our relationship, even if it is only a memory. My mind is hardwired for nostalgia. This means the time I spent with the people in my past still shapes my present. They will also be shaping my future.
I write an imaginary letter to Dr. Carroll Engelhardt about once a week. Our time together was brief. However, I would not have a degree, let alone a master's, if it were not for him. He pulled me aside one day when I was leaving class and asked me to come in and see him. When I went to his office, he informed me I was failing his class. It was not the first I had ever heard that in my life. The words that changed my life were, "You do realize I am here to help you succeed, right? Come to me if you need help." I was 18 years old, and no teacher, not even in Kindergarten, had ever said that to me. Thank you. Your concern saved me.
Most mornings, I take the dog on a walk. As I walk, I have conversations in my head with people I am thankful for, but I never act on the thoughts. It costs nothing to call someone, and yet, I don't. One of the lessons I used to teach summer camp staff was how few campers will ever tell you how important you were to them. When they do, rejoice and be glad. Cling to those words as a precious gift. I should know better.
In writing this reflection, I found a video titled "An Experiment in Gratitude." Researchers asked people to pick the name of someone they were grateful for and then write down why. When they completed the task, they asked the people to call the person they wrote about and read their letter to them. Obviously, those who received the call felt joy. What surprised people was the impact on those who made the call. They were overwhelmed with joy simply by speaking the gratitude.
Today, as we head into Thanksgiving, I want you to think about these things as you read 2 Corinthians 9:6. "What I mean is this: the one who sows a small number of seeds will also reap a small crop, and the one who sows a generous amount of seeds will also reap a generous crop.” Then, go sow the seeds of gratitude and prepare to reap a bountiful harvest. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Click to read 2 Corinthians 9:6-15
Gratitude exercise:
On a piece of paper, write the name of someone you are grateful for.
Write what about this person makes you grateful.
Contact this person and read to them the words you wrote.
When you are done, write down how the exercise made you feel.