Communicating With Your Eyes
What We See Impacts Our Soul More Than How We Look
by Eric Elkin
“Don’t I have the right to do what I want with what belongs to me? Or are you resentful because I am generous?”
“You need to learn to communicate with your eyes.” This was the advice my wife gave me when we first started wearing masks. I had complained about not being able to visually communicate with strangers at the hardware store. Typically, I look and smile at people passing by me in the store. Now with a mask on, their reaction seems to suggest they think I am glaring at them.
My wife is a surgical nurse. She spends most of her days behind a mask. Communicating with your eyes is a skill people develop at her job. I have been trying to learn this talent, but do not feel like I am having much success. Despite the best of intentions and hours of practice, my looks are not being well received.
Judging from other people's eyes, my eyes seem to communicate the infamous “stink eye.” This look is somewhere between a glare and an “I can’t believe you just did that” look. Perhaps, my problem is I am unable to clearly interpret the eyes of strangers. Maybe they are going home thinking, “I smiled at this guy, and all he did was glare at me.” I will have to get some lessons from my wife about interpreting looks.
“Is your eye evil?” is a literal translation of the original Greek words in Matthew 20:15. Thus, the landowner asks the workers, “Are you giving me the evil eye because I am generous?” Scholars changed this phrase to “resentful,” “envious,” or “stingy” to help us understand. However, I prefer the evil eye translation.
“The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become.”
Peggy ordered me a new pair of eyeglasses from an online retailer. They were not a style I would have selected for myself. She will spend more time looking at me, though, than I will at myself, so I wore them. The staff at the church did not like them. I told Peggy, “They say I look like Velma from Scooby Do.” She responded, “Tell them you look like Hugh Grant.” I told her I don’t think it works that way. She knows it doesn’t, but it was worth a try.
What we see impacts our soul much more than how we look. I know a lot of people who spend hours looking at themselves in the mirror. They go to great lengths to produce the right look for the right occasion. There is something to be said for looking good and feeling good. However, I would put more weight on how you see the world than how you make the world look.
There is a strange lesson I have learned working in the church. People have a difficult time seeing and embracing a generous God. They love to talk about a God who loves them beyond understanding. But what they really want is a God who loves as they love. Our human love typically has insiders and outsiders. People want a God who looks favorably upon them, but gives those whom we don’t love the “evil eye.”
I invite you to look at the world differently today. What if God was more generous than you in loving the world? How would this world look? I suspect, if you considered all the people you encountered in the store as loved by God, you would see hope. The constant exposure to hope would help you be more generous with your love and compassion.
Click to read Matthew 20: 1-16
Reflection Questions:
When was the last time you gave someone the “stink eye”?
How much did it impact them? How much did it impact you?
What do you see in the world right now? And, how is this view shaping you?
Where do you do you see grace?
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