Healthy Physical Touch Is Vital To Our Emotional Well Being

by Eric Elkin

“I am the Lord your God,
    who grasps your strong hand,
    who says to you,
    Don’t fear; I will help you.”

— Isaiah 41:13

Have you ever been disturbed by the sounds of a screaming child? I am assuming this is something every person has experienced. How have you handled it? Nothing tests a person's level of patience like a screaming child. My first impulse is always to help, but I can often do nothing. When helping the child is not an option, I often seek to comfort the adult attending to the child's needs. I want them to know, "I don't mind, and we all understand." But the truth is the longer the crying lasts, the more it bothers me.

Research has shown there is one surefire way of stopping a child from crying -- neglect. It may take some time, but it will work if you can wait it out. You see, children cry to communicate a need. If no one responds to that need, the child will stop crying. The child will stop not just when you are around but forever. There is one drawback to this method: if you practice it, you are almost guaranteed to raise a psychopath. The child will lack complete empathy for the world because the world showed no compassion for the child.

Mental health professionals were provided a very sad opportunity to learn this lesson. In 1989, when the communist dictator of Romania, Nicolae Ceauşescu, was disposed, the world got a clear look into his tyranny. Outside observers discovered 170,000 neglected children living in impoverished orphanages. Dr. Nathan Fox, who worked with a team of psychologists to provide early support, was alarmed by the silence he encountered when he first entered the Romanian orphanages. He discovered they did not cry because no one responded when they did.

“Everyone in a community has a vested interest in everyone else’s children. Because everyone else’s children determine the next adult population that makes for a successful society.”

— Jack P. Shonkoff, PhD

Children need human contact. This need is not just a "best practices" approach to child-rearing. Physical touch is critical to the development of all human infants. They need verbal interaction with other children and adults. If children are to be raised with any level of empathy, they also need emotional touch in their developmental stages. The absence of all forms of touch can even result in death. This leads me to wonder, does our need for human touch disappear as we age?

That is a rhetorical question; the impact of human touch never ceases to be vital. "Hugs, holding hands and other physical gestures of affection have the potential to ease our minds, make us feel less isolated, and reduce stress and anxiety." Dr. David Linden, a professor of Neuroscience at John Hopkins University School of Medicine, noted in a 2016 TEDX Talk, "To be human is to be emotional and to feel things…the sense of touch is intrinsically emotional."

Reading this passage from Isaiah, it becomes clear that God understands the human condition. God knows humans need to feel they are being held. But how does an invisible God hold us in a way we can grasp? To me, human beings are the language of God. The good and healthy touch - verbal, emotional, and, when appropriate, physical — of others helps us not to be afraid, unlocks our potential for empathy, and helps us feel connected. More specifically, we need each other if we are to be healthy. So, this coming year, let's help each other be healthy, happy, and filled with God's joy.

Click to read Isaiah 41: 13-20

Watch this video to learn more: The Impact of Neglect