Why Can't We Be Happy?
Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash
Seeing Others Helps Us Experience Joy
by Eric Elkin
“Then make me truly happy by loving each other and agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, working together with one heart and mind and purpose.”
Don’t look now, but the US economy is doing well. The signs of strong economic growth are visible in both the private and business sectors. Unemployment remains low, income inequality is down, and real wages for workers are up. It looks like we have avoided a significant recession, or at least signs are pointing in the right direction. Even the price of gas is down. One would think a strong economy would be a reason to celebrate. But I still feel like most people think the world is falling apart.
The reasons for joy extend beyond the economy. Police statistics reveal a historic level of decline in the number of murders. There has also been a dramatic decrease in violent crime and burglary. Yet, signs of sadness are equally abundant. Substance abuse and misuse continue to rise across urban, suburban, and rural communities. We have seen an increase in people with depression, and the suicide rate continues to climb. What will it take for us as a nation to be happy?
I think the reason for our unhappiness is a vision problem. Most people have lost the ability to see anyone other than themselves. I experience this every day while driving to work. Drivers will come speeding up behind me and only slow down once they are within feet of my car. The thing that drives me crazy is I am driving in the cruising lane and exceeding the speed limit myself. Worse, the lanes on either side of me are open. These drivers could effortlessly change lanes and move around me. Instead, they try to drive through my car. Then, they flip me off as they pass, like I have ruined their day.
“Humility is a virtue of self-understanding in context, acquired by the practice of other centeredness.”
What is wrong with us? Why can we not just be happy? Sometimes I want to blame news media for constantly reporting negative stories, but that is a cop-out. News companies know that negative stories get viewers. Stories about the decline of everything sell advertisements. The media only gives the people what they want. If we genuinely wanted good news, we would get it.
Paul gives excellent and eternal advice in his letter to the Philippians. The path to true happiness is being connected and caring for people other than yourself. Do not demand people to love you; start by loving others and working towards agreement. Trying to agree with your neighbor is challenging work. Sometimes, we must put our desires aside to better see their needs. Yet, it is in the coming together that we all experience the greatest level of joy.
I’m not sure what your hopes are for the coming year, but perhaps you might consider these. Sight —challenge yourself to see the needs of others. Act — seek to do things that help others within your means. Greet people, open a door for them, and work to find common ground with your neighbor. Gratitude — give thanks for the good things in your life. If you do these things, it will become harder and harder to be mad.
Click to read Philippians 2: 1-11
Reflection Questions:
When have you felt angry and realized later you overreacted?
What reasons do you have for joy?
How often do you work to understand others?
What do you need to SEE this coming year?
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